I am in love again.
Yes, I have tweeted it, updated my Facebook status on this, checked-in our dating spots on Foursquare, just like any other New Age technophile. So the only wise thing to do next is to blog about it.
He is a lovely smart English guy who loves cooking, his four horses and ME. I can’t ask for more. But here is the catch. He is in the United Kingdom whereas yours gorgeously is in Kuala Lumpur. So, what can I say? Long-distance relationship it is! (Hereinafter referred to as LDR)
Not that we are not aware of such prospect. Being the geek that I am, I was Googling for researches and tips on LDR discreetly, from the Boyfriend, in order to console my heart that this can work. I did not know what got into my head that night, when the Boyfriend raised his doubts about having such relationship with me, I mustered enough courage to say this to him, ” It is not everyday, that I meet a person who can make me happy, so when I meet one who does, I think this relationship deserves a chance”.
He agreed and the rest is history. But I can’t really say the rest is history. We are in this LDR for less than a month.
We skype religiously and send each other photo snaps of our days via our Iphones. I showed him my new office, he showed me the blue bruise he got from being kicked by his horse.
The time difference can be tricky sometimes but we got better with our GMT skills, ” So, talk to you at 9.30 pm my time?” To which he efficiently answered, “Sure, that is my tea time,”
So, what are the wonderful things about LDR so far?
1). On a philosophical level, by the time your relationship reaches its 6 months, I bet you could be the next Zen Guru. You learn to manage your expectations and cope with the distance by having greater trust and patience with your loved one. It is not E-A-S-Y, but it is worth it.
2). You are not entrapped in the socially expected traditions of dating. Hell, you can be having romantic conversations with him online with your pajama bottom and all he sees is your pretty face. Less pressure for getting ready for dates, right? And every time your Boyfriend or Girlfriend annoys you, you can just literally pull the plug.
3). You learn to appreciate the relationship better too. I can’t speak for all LDR couples, but as for me and The Boyfriend, we know this will be difficult and we know we could give each other a break by just letting one another go and well, date someone else. It was an informed choice from the start. But we are willing to invest in such risk because we know how much the other person mean to us. And similarly like getting the best career in life or any other personal achievements, you appreciate these achievements more if you earn it the hard way.
But of course, LDR , is not a mere romantic notion, I also believe we have to be realistic about it. According to this study, it is important for LDR couples to set ground-rules in their relationship in order to sustain it; regularity of communication, stance on dating with third parties or how regular should they be in the same city. These steps to me, is also about building trust. At the end of the day, you can be in the same city, country or continent with your loved one and still have grave suspicions about him if you don’t trust him or her enough.
My inner critic (with the face of Beyonce , body of Adrianna Lima and brains of Amy Farrah Fowler ) continued to caution me, “Have you not suffered enough in your past relationship(s)? Why are you doing this to yourself? Long Distance is dreadful!” In between munching my crackers with hummus, I reassured her,
” Chill woman, this one is different!” Crunch!
Can’t wait to see him soon!
