This write up is absolutely stupid. Trust me.
“Hey Alt,” I twit my best buddy.
“I want to commit the FB suicide..” She grew quiet for a moment. She knew how bad was my condition since I went cold turkey over a certain man. She asked whether I stalked the guy on Facebook with the intention of making his life miserable. I said No. I was just busy blocking and unblocking him from my list.
“And after unblocking a person, you need another 48h hours before you can block him back, I used the 48 hours to reconsider my act of unblocking him.”
I get no answer for my academic explanation on how the privacy setting of Facebook works. That’s because my best buddy is not that crazy, I assume.
“So when are you going to commit your Facebook suicide?” She asked earnestly. I told her perhaps in the next few minutes. “I need the loo first,” I said. She consoled me that she will be there in time to “hold my hand” when I took the cyber life of my Facebook. I appreciated the concern and went off to the loo.
“When I came back, I saw Alt’s Gtalk messages dominating my computer screen. “Why you took so long?” She asked. I swore she sounded a bit anxious. I told her I met some colleagues on the way and stopped to talk to them. Apparently, I am taking this whole suicide business lightly.
As I browsed my Facebook account lovingly, I realized this is the right thing to do. I clicked on the Setting segment and look for the “Deactivate” button. There it was. The Death Button. Except that Facebook incorporate some guilt politics in the deactivation procedure. Before I can clicked on the button, I was asked several questions that made me reconsider my decision to deactivate because 1-some of the questions involve personal choice and life philosophy, 2-because there were just too many questions that you got fed up reading and forgot what you wanted to do in the first place.
I finally closed my eyes and clicked the death button. Nothing happened to me. Wait, nothing happened at all. My facebook account is still alive. I checked the wifi connection and swore. The connection was down!
Arghhhh! “It’s still alive!” I shouted in exasperation. I told Altaf and she ended up laughing. I waited for a few minutes and started the ceremony all over again. This time around, it worked! I was returned to the Homepage of Facebook as my account is finally R.I.P.
Minutes later, Altaf Gtalked me.
“Your FB…its still around!!” OMG. This is one stubborn death victim.
“You mean my FB now is a cyber zombie?” I tried to login and realized I could still enter my account.
Finally, I realized I subconsciously deactivated my FB account with the hope of resurrecting my account one day. I reassured myself that I have to be strong. So with a firm heart, I deleted my account and sighed in relief.
Alt wrote an orbituary for the death of my FB on Twitter. I was mourning the whole day, as well.
But guess what? There is such thing as reincarnation!
For a shorter version of this madness, click here.








